Sex therapy for couples

This is especially suited to couples who have been together for a long time. This form of therapy is designed to treat premature ejaculation in two ways:

• Explore and discuss any problems which are affecting their relationship.
• Look for ways of resolving these problems

This involves several techniques which are designed to help the man ‘break’ the habit of premature ejaculation. The thinking behind this is that the man will have acquired the habit of ejaculating too quickly and can easily, unlearn this habit.

There are two techniques available:

• The ‘squeeze’technique –pioneered by the American sex therapists Masters and Johnson.
• The ‘stop-start’ technique which is similar to the ‘squeeze’ technique.

Both of these techniques require some degree of practice. They may sound straightforward but practice is needed to obtain the desired result.

Squeeze technique

This is the most popular technique used by couples and is very effective, provided the couple is keen to try it and for a set period of time.

Strange as it may sound not every couple is enthusiastic about doing so. In fact it is not uncommon for one half of a couple to be willing to try this method whereas the other half is less than keen.

But it is important to try this method as it proven to cure the majority of cases of premature ejaculation.

This technique requires the co-operation of the woman in that she masturbates the man in order to retrain him to ejaculate when ready. The aim is for the man to maintain an erection for longer and to only ejaculate when both partners are ready. This will ensure that both halves of the couple have a satisfying experience.

This technique is suitable for both heterosexual and homosexual couples.

So how does it work?

This technique involves the following steps:

• The woman masturbates the man
• The man tells the woman to stop when he is about to ejaculate.
• The woman then squeezes the head of his penis for about 20 seconds
• The woman lets go of the penis and waits for 30 seconds before restarting masturbation.
• The woman repeats this process several times

This removes the need to ejaculate quickly and ensures that the man has improved control over this process.

If you are thinking of trying this technique then be prepared to spend some time doing so. It is effective but requires a great deal of practice to ensure this.

It is a good idea to speak to an expert about this such as a sex therapist so that they can show you and your partner the correct way of doing this. This will minimise any frustration or awkwardness from doing so.

It is easy to get this wrong so do not try and learn this technique from a book or a website: obtain professional advice.

Our links section contains information about therapists and relevant organisations.

Stop-start technique

This is similar to the squeeze technique. The woman masturbates the man as above but she does not squeeze his penis. Masturbation is stopped as soon as the man is about to ejaculate and then resumed after 30 seconds.

This process is repeated several times. The woman masturbates his penis, then stops and waits for 30 seconds before resuming this action.

The idea is for this to be repeated until both halves of the couple are ready for ejaculation. The aim is for the man to experience stimulation and the point at which there is ‘no return’ or in other words, he is about to climax. He learns about how to hold on until he reaches the point with the aim of holding out for longer each time and until he and his partner are ready.

This technique also requires a great deal of practice and as with the squeeze method, may be better learnt via the instruction of an expert such as a therapist.

For more details visit our links section.

Other techniques

There are several other methods which include the man masturbating by himself so that he can learn how to control the urge to ejaculate; self distraction and increased foreplay.

All of these are effective but again, require practice over a period of time.

If you and your partner have tried any of these methods but without any signs of improvement then seek professional help via a sex therapist.

Premature ejaculation is often caused by an underlying psychological problem as much as a physical or behavioural difficulty so it is a good idea to speak to an expert. They will discuss any underlying issues with you as this is often the reason for this type of problem.

In other words they will look at your attitude towards sex, the way you think about it and how you see the role of men and women during sex. The reason for this is that you may hold a particular view about sex, for example that vaginal penetration is all that women are interested in, which could be affecting your sexual performance.

He or she will encourage you to discuss this and any other issues you may have with the aim of changing your views and your behaviour.

Sex therapy is a popular form of counselling for couples who require some expert advice.

An alternative to this is medication which is discussed in a separate section.