Coping with miscarriage

Having a miscarriage is a terrible experience and it can cause extreme emotional stress. If you have suffered a miscarriage, it is likely that you will feel tired, confused, angry and extremely sad; many women also blame themselves and have an overwhelming sense of guilt, even though it is very rare that the mother is to blame for the miscarriage. Common symptoms associated with losing a baby include:

• Loss of appetite
• Loss of energy
• Fatigue and exhaustion
• Becoming withdrawn and wanting to be alone
• Feeling extremely down
• Experiencing shock
• Feeling numb and empty
• Lack of concentration
• Disturbed sleep patterns

Everyone is different and people grieve in different ways; some people prefer to talk to people about their experience, while others prefer to keep it to themselves. Some women recover quickly and start to plan their next pregnancy, while others take many months and even years to get over their loss.

If you are struggling to cope with miscarriage and want to talk to someone about it, you can get in touch with your GP who will be able to arrange counselling. Alternatively you can contact charities including The Miscarriage Association, The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust and the Samaritans.

Effects of miscarriage on the father

When it comes to miscarriage the father is often left on the sidelines in terms of emotional support. However, though men do not experience the physical symptoms of miscarriage they do have to cope with the emotional grief than it can bring about. Every mother dreams of seeing their child grow up and this is no different in the case of fathers. There is no quick fix following a miscarriage; only time and support for one another will help to overcome the grief. Some general advice is given below:

• No quick fix – The baby you lost was special and the quick fix of having another baby to is not necessarily the answer. This will however differ for each couple, but make sure to talk this through thoroughly before moving on
• Support one another – Make time to understand each other’s grief and make sure you do not form a bridge between the two of you. This is a time when relationships are tested to their absolute limit
• Talk – Communication is essential but is something that many men find difficult to do. If this is the case for you then you may find putting down your thoughts and feelings on paper a source of relief
• Be pro-active – Getting on with work can be a good way to ease the pain of your loss, but do not allow it to run your life. Communicating with your partner is of utmost importance and you should not abandon your partner